thekampaign

Uncensored Commentary on Anything & Everything.

Douche Breaks Record for Falling

So Felix Baumgartner broke the records for highest skydive, fastest freefall and some other gay shit. Why the hell is everybody all boned up about this? It’s so fucking lame. All he is doing is falling, gravity is doing all the work. Give gravity the world record. Another thing, any six-year-old kid could do this, all they need is Red Bull to sponsor them. Any fucktard can pull a damn cord. I’m so not impressed by this, and Felix Baumgartner is going to get all sorts of BJ’s and blumpkins and shit for doing a completely talentless stunt. Fuck you Felix.

 

 

Walt

Warlocks of the Week

Ahh, Doutzen Kroes. She’s a model from the Netherlands, which sounds like the most awesome place ever. The hotness level of Dutch girls is seriously off the charts. It’s like a law that if any female pops out of the womb looking like she may turn out to be a 7 or worse, they deport their asses to Great Britain or something. Back to Doutzen, she is a model for Victoria’s Secret, and is attempting to be an actress. I don’t give a shit if her acting is like Nicolas Cage, throw in a topless scene into whatever movie she’s in, and I’ll pay to see it.

 

 

Walt

Is this Racist?

I can’t decide if this is racist or not?…hahaha I literally LOL’ed watching it, and not a pity ‘lol’ you send to a friend or girlfriend for the sake of it being a placement or filler word to make it seem like you semi give a fuck what they said or are talking about. That lady eats watermelon for days.

The Presidential & Vice Presidential Debates

I’m not going to spew up my thoughts on which political affiliation I tend to side with, for the sake of keeping this blog and the 5 followers I currently have. I will however turn you toward the debates that really matter. Those being the SNL Presidential & Vice Presidential Spoof debates. How dead on accurate are these things? Genius. I laughed my ass off just like Biden, at just about every comment on there. #winning

Skateboarder gets Demolished

This video has a couple of things going for it. First, it might have our first video of someone becoming a quadriplegic on thekampaign. Second, it might get the award for dumbest fucking shirt I have ever seen. Look at his T-shirt. A wolf and an elk. It looks like a shitty 1983 Asia album cover. Everybody thinks they’re so extreme when they’re grandma gives them a skateboard for their 13th birthday. I’m so glad that “97 Ram put these little douchers in their place.

 

 

Walt

It’s FRIDAY! Let Loose!

I’m getting bombed tonight. I’m gonna be dancing like Doug in ‘Weeds’ just straight not giving a fuck, and sabotaging everyone else’s game. I love this scene in the show. Doug is one of my favorite characters of any show, because he likes to party. I like to party.

Song of the Week: Too Close

Good Tune

You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me

Guess who just sank the longest putt ever in golf history to be recorded live on television? Tiger Woods? No. Fred Couples? No. Happy Gilmore? No. It was Michael Fucking Phelps whom I now consider the X-Factor of all sports. Fuck it, Rex let him take a few snaps, he could teach Tebow a thing or two about not being a flaming virgin douche. I still can’t believe this. Like, damn Michael Phelps just sinks 160 foot putts like it ain’t no thang. His celebration wasn’t even THAT big for sinking that caliber of a putt. Like I would have made everyone bow to me. Michael Phelps – good on ya bro.

Wednesday Warlocks of the Week

This week it’s Sarah Pipkin. Definite five tool player. Great ass, monster tits, legs that go on forever, great eyes, and on top of that, she’s a total skank. She is the equivalent of something like Mike Trout, or maybe Carlos Beltran in his prime, just no weaknesses in her game.

Side note, it was hard as shit finding pictures of her wearing clothes, which I guess you could consider a sixth tool.

 

 

Walt

Bobby Valentine is Out

The only respectable person to put on a Red Sox uniform this year was fired today. Bobby Valentine lasted one season in Boston, and the entire city basically chased him out-of-town with pitch forks and torches. I don’t understand how you can hate someone as awesome as Bobby V. It’s not like it was his fault your team sucked yak dick. Maybe if you had traded away all those clubhouse tumors earlier you would have had a chance. You should hate David Ortiz for only playing 90 games this year, or Dice K for having an ERA of damn near 10. Bobby V took all the blame for the Red Sox shitty year, but he is definitely not the cause. Red Sox fans are a bunch of bitches, a lot of teams would kill to have him as a manager.

 

 

Walt

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