Tom Raper on Patriotism and Pabst

Tom Raper has my vote for president. He’s not going to bitch-out and buy Budweiser, he’s going to stick with good ol’ Pabst. He’s right, it doesn’t taste good. It taste like straight horse piss;  red, white, and blue horse piss will never sell out to those Arab bastards that bought Anheuiser Busch. I 100% agree with letting 4 year olds buy American beer, too. That would stimulate the economy way more than any of those garbage stimulus packages would. Thousands of four-year olds getting shit-hammered off American brew equals new jobs across this great nation. Listening to Tom Raper’s speech gives me new hope in the America of the future. Drink it, you assholes!

Walt

Breaking News for College QB Hopefuls

If  you played fourth string quarterback or better in third grade, you could be in luck. Send your Pop Warner highlight videos to the address below, you might be scholarship material. If they’re willing to burn one on Denard Robinson, why the hell wouldn’t they give any fucktard who took a snap back in pee wee ball a full ride. This motherfucker put up one of the most rancid performances in recent D-1 football history. Four interceptions in the first half, 7 for 15 with no touchdowns. His quarterback rating is a whopping 36.5. I seriously think I could put up at least a 37, no bullshit. Move the bastard to a slot, or maybe a receiver, anywhere but fucking quarterback. Here’s a few reasons why he sucks ass…

Brady Hoke

Athletic Department

University of Michigan

1000 South State Street

Ann Arbor, MI 48109-2201

Walt

FOX Totally Gets Punked.

This dude is classic! Haha. Totally taking one for the team to fuck over one of the leading news coverage stations in America. Good on ya bro! Now go back to your parents house, smoke your gravity bong and pop your collar while you listen to Nickelback’s greatest hit. Now it’s time for the grown-ups to play. – Brandon

Fall Beer Review #1

I am fucking hammered. I’m literally writing this 8 beers deep into ‘DogFish Head Punkin Ale‘. I planned on doing a review for this, like a legit ‘ how it tastes’ review but that didn’t happen. Instead, I took 2 (4) packs out to my truck to get away from everyone and started pounding. I took my iphone out there as well to listen to nfl.com fantasy football live so I could get some sort of leg up on the competition this week. Yea sure the beer is fucking great. Tastes like Pumpkin. Anyway Speaking of which, I plan on doing this more often. It’s a great time. Just a man and his thoughts drinking alone on the tailgate of his truck, just like you picture some Joe Dirt motherfucker in the deep South, with his leftover welfare money he used to buy the beer. Awesome. God damn, what is the alcohol percentage on this bitch? Like fucking 20%. So far this beer has absolutely done what I asked it to do, which was : A. Taste like pumpkin. B. Be Refreshing C. Get me drunk… I give this an A-. Not an  A+ because the beer only comes in 4 packs. Gay as hell. Pissin’ me off. – Brandon.

P.S. It’ll Get Ya Drunnnk